(485 U.S. 46, 108 S.Ct. 876, 99 L.Ed.2d 41)
Ladies and Gentlemen, in the right corner,
wearing trunks emblazoned with the sign of the cross
His grandfather was an atheist; his father bootlegged whiskey
From Lynchburg, Virginia, he gave up sin and became a preacher, the most powerful voice
on the religious right and the founder of the Moral Majority,
Let's hear it for the Reverend Jerry Falwell! FALWELL!
Ladies and Gentlemen, in the left corner,
wearing trunks of red, white, and blue,
He ran away from home at 15, joined the army
and was honorably discharged seven years later
He founded Hustler, the first magazine
to shamelessly publish female genitalia,
From rural Kentucky, the misogynist,
the pornographer, the guy in the wheelchair,
Please give it up for Mr. Larry Flynt! FLYNT!
When The Perv With The Nerve took on the Moral Majority
Porn toe-to-toe with religious authority
In this case that would redefine our modern First Amendment
With the church as the plaintiff, constitution as defendant
Now Larry was a guy who loved money, girls, democracy
Nothing galled him more than the stench of hypocrisy
Jerry called him filthy, an obscenity, a scourge
And his friends in the government were set to see Larry purged
But Larry knew his media, and how to get a laugh
He took an ad from Campari and he parodied that preacher's ass
I'm gonna read it straight verbatim so the context will be clear
But if you're sensitive, you might turn red
So cover your children's ears - let's go
Jerry Falwell talks about his first time:
FALWELL: My first time was in an outhouse outside Lynchburg,Virginia.
INTERVIEWER: Wasn't it a little cramped?
FALWELL: Not after I kicked the goat out.
INTERVIEWER: I see. You must tell me all about it.
FALWELL: I never really expected to make it with Mom, but
then after she showed all the other guys in town such a good time, I figured, "What the hell?"
INTERVIEWER: But your mom? Isn't that a bit odd?
FALWELL: I don't think so. Looks don't mean that much to me in a woman.
INTERVIEWER: Go on.
FALWELL: Well, we were drunk off our God-fearing asses on Campari, ginger ale and soda—that's called a Fire and Brimstone—at the time. And Mom looked better than a Baptist whore with a $100 donation
INTERVIEWER: Campari in the crapper with Mom... how interesting. Well, how was it?
FALWELL: The Campari was great, but Mom passed out before I could come.
INTERVIEWER: Did you ever try it again?
FALWELL: Sure... lots of times. But not in the outhouse. Between Mom and the shit, the flies were too much to bear.
INTERVIEWER: We meant the Campari.
FALWELL: Oh, yeah. I always get sloshed before I go out in the morning. You don't think I could lay down all that bullshit sober, do you?
When The Perv With The Nerve took on the Moral Majority
Porn toe-to-toe with religious authority
In this case that would redefine our modern First Amendment
With the church as the plaintiff, constitution as defendant
Jerry wasn't gonna take this lying down
Jerry couldn't let this float around
So he sued Flynt, and he won $500,000
Larry went to appeals court, and he lost
Larry went back to appeals court, and he lost again
In this case that would redefine our modern First Amendment
With the church as the plaintiff, constitution as defendant
But that's not all, Flynt converted to Evangelical Christianity
With this story it seems there's no end to all of the insanity
After many Christmases spent together that's the way this tale ended
The arch-arch enemies had become best friends
When The Perv With The Nerve took on the Moral Majority
Porn toe-to-toe with religious authority